you know that picture you always see? the one where its night time in some big city and all you see are the roads with flashes of red and white headlights zooming in every direction. Thats what its like in my head. i feel like my mind is on overload. Emotions are all over the place my head is constantly racing with a bajillion thoughts. I feel like I havent allowed myself to just be still and gather myself. Constantly surrounding myself with people and its starting to stress me out. Their problems become my problems. Their worries become my worries. Their stresses become my stresses. Of course it may not be in "real life" but to me it really feels like it. I was telling NohPu the other day but i feel like i live in a world of my own. The weird things that people see me do i dont even notice. Some people call me out on doing it for attention but seriously my mind is not that complicated. I feel like im constantly going back and forth between my reality and peoples reality. Things that bother me dont bother others while things that bother them doesnt make sense to me. does this make sense? probably not... Im just really exhausted, im emotionally strained and im trying my best not to show it. i keep telling everyone and myself that im ok.. but maybe im not. maybe i need to really evaluate where i am. I took my mask off and opened my arms wide... only to put on a more realistic mask and a bullet proof vest. haha that probably doesnt make sense to you. All i know is that i need to start recentering myself with the word. im thirsty... (not for water haha)
