Future Junkie

I am a Future Junkie.




I love to think about what God has in store for me in the future. What my calling is. Am i going to get married. Where am i going to be in 10 years. Will my friends still be my friends. Who am i going to lose. Who am i going to meet. I've always thought that i need to know whats going to happen in the future in order to go on with the present. Does that make sense? Im sure it doesnt. I've been looking at the future so much i've lost my purpose in the present. " I can't focus on studies cause i don't know what i want to become" "I'm going to take a break cause i don't know what God wants for me." I've been stuck in the same place for the past 3 years. I dont look at whats right in front of me, but look over it to what i cant see. Shouldn't God be glorified even in my present situation? I read Kyungs blog about God being glorified in his studies. We are living our lives for Him so wouldn't He want us to study hard? (A biblical reference would be great right now but unfortunately i am selfish and flawed and have yet to remember specific places in the bible, let alone continuously read it) I'm so scared that this semester is gonna turn out like all the other ones. That I'm just gonna give up halfway through. I just want to take it week by week for now. Not thinking or worrying to much about the outcome. If i tried my hardest i should be satisfied with the grade that i get. I've been trying to get into the daily habit of reading the bible to. Taking it day by day, not looking around at other people but just focusing on God. Its hard.


I feel like i always write my blogs late at night. I have class tomorrow :)