BAH BAH BOGGLES

i hate repeating myself...

especially working with three year olds its just constant repeating and yelling and directing. I lost it today. Not in a i-went-crazy type of way but by the end of the day i was so drained and i just kind of let go and let myself be tired. i thought talking about it would be make me feel better but it didn't. i just ended up complaining (which is probably what im doing now) and that made me feel worse. gah. this is like brain vomit. I was the bad guy today. Theres this one little boy who is so cute. i seriously love him cause he so CUTE but he just doesnt listen. Its not just that but he knows what he did wrong. He kept biting kids and running around when he wasnt supposed to and no matter how many times i told him to stop or gave him a time out he just kept on going. It got to the point where as soon as he did something bad he knew i was going to scold him so he would hide behind his closest classmate so he wouldnt have to match eyes with me. It was SOOO frustrating!!

... i realized im just like him. ive just gotten better at hiding. I feel like its wrong to compare myself to God but it really opened my eyes to how good i think i am... how everytime i do something wrong i hide it by covering it up expecting that maybe God wont see me, all the while knowing He is there and knowing that eventually i will have to fess up. ( "Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. ~isaiah 1:18 ) How is He so amazing? so forgiving?... So i tried to be loving to him and the kid started crying and blubbering about how he was sorry and that he would never do it again and how he still loves me (random i know but he said it haha) and i forgave him, gave him a sticker and sent him home. No doubt that when he comes back tomorrow that he will not listen to me, but i want to show him and the rest of my class just a speck of the love that my Father has shown for me. Children are so fasinating but crazy. Talking didnt make me feel better but praying and reading really did. God seriously BAH BAH BAH BOGGLES my mind.. this was totally not structured but oh well dont feel like editing hopefully there will be no big typos. Sorry this is so long. If you read this all Kudos for you~ I love you~ you know it :D